Ren Miura (
homeruuun) wrote in
infinite_reflection2012-04-09 09:05 pm
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A couple of days after hanging out with Miho...
"Under the weather" was at once an accurate and inaccurate way for Ren to describe herself. She had much less energy than usual, but being stubborn as ever, she refused to let it show. She attended practice even after hurting her ankle, and grumbled endlessly when the team captain forced her to sit out for her own safety. Her volunteering jobs had been stressful as well, and she found herself with less work to do and less people to help. For any other teenager this would have been a good thing, but for Ren, it was a sign that she wasn't needed.
And then the kitchen knife slipped from her hand while preparing her lunch that morning. Ren idly scratched around the bandaid on her finger during class, chewing on the inside of her cheek. For anyone who knew her well, they could tell she didn't look like herself.
... Not to mention the mirrors were driving her up the wall.
Just as the bell rang to signal the end of the day's last class, the sound stretched and echoed in Ren's head and her mind seemed to blank out. She sat there, immobile, for a good number of minutes, whilst everyone around her was already packing up.
"Hey, Miura, are you okay? You look kinda pale."
"Hm... yeah, maybe you should go to the infirmary. Or get someone to help you walk home..."
"Miura? Hey, Miura, are you listening?"
Abruptly, the girl stood from her seat, surprising those standing around her desk. Without gathering her things or even uttering a word, she turned and exited the classroom, staring blankly and dragging her feet.
She heard whispers all around her... or inside her? But she couldn't actively listen to them. She was barely conscious and it was like she didn't find anything strange about walking to an empty girls' bathroom. Once there, she turned to face the mirror, empty gaze setting on the shifting surface.
And then the kitchen knife slipped from her hand while preparing her lunch that morning. Ren idly scratched around the bandaid on her finger during class, chewing on the inside of her cheek. For anyone who knew her well, they could tell she didn't look like herself.
... Not to mention the mirrors were driving her up the wall.
Just as the bell rang to signal the end of the day's last class, the sound stretched and echoed in Ren's head and her mind seemed to blank out. She sat there, immobile, for a good number of minutes, whilst everyone around her was already packing up.
"Hey, Miura, are you okay? You look kinda pale."
"Hm... yeah, maybe you should go to the infirmary. Or get someone to help you walk home..."
"Miura? Hey, Miura, are you listening?"
Abruptly, the girl stood from her seat, surprising those standing around her desk. Without gathering her things or even uttering a word, she turned and exited the classroom, staring blankly and dragging her feet.
She heard whispers all around her... or inside her? But she couldn't actively listen to them. She was barely conscious and it was like she didn't find anything strange about walking to an empty girls' bathroom. Once there, she turned to face the mirror, empty gaze setting on the shifting surface.
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It was most likely useless, but she had to try.
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The reflection in the stall peered at them both through tired, melancholic eyes, heaving another sigh as her gaze fixed itself on Seiya. "How do you expect to help someone who can't even help herself...?" Her gaze then shifted to Ren, who was wincing as she picked herself up the ground. "Useless... after all your reassuring and bragging, you can't even hold your promises. You're so unreliable..." She unfolded her legs, setting her feet on the floor as she stood, but didn't exit the stall. Her shoulders were slumped and her head hung low, like she was defeated. "When people need you the most, you turn out to be incapable of doing anything worthwhile. Why do you even bother...?"
Ren clenched her fists. What... what was she even talking about?! "Yeah right, like you know anything! Who the hell do you think you are?!"
The reflection gave her a dull, half-lidded stare. "You can't even tell? I'm you."
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"Don't listen to it."
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"Yes, don't listen to me, just as you always do. You never listen to me. Not when you're sick, tired, or hurt... you keep wanting to help people more and more because to you, people can't take care of themselves. Not without you, right?... Yet you can't even help yourself." She paused to heave a long, drawn-out sigh. "And then you wind up like this, with the world's weight on your shoulders." She vaguely gestured to herself, as though she was too exhausted to move much more than that.
Ren chewed on her lip. There had to be some kind of trick. There was no way she was telling the truth... her, helpless? Y-yeah right... She averted her gaze, instead looking down at the ground between herself and Seiya. "You might as well stop talking, because I'm not gonna listen."
"Come on." Her hands rose - it was like she was a mime in an invisible cage, yet it really looked as though her hands had set on something. "Why not just admit it to yourself already? Do us both a favor... you don't want to drag that girl into this, do you?"
"Shut up!"
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"I'm coming closer, okay? Talk to me. Just stay with me. What's your name?" Brow furrowed, she took little steps forward.
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"Miura Ren, second year," the other interrupted. "16 years old, baseball club. Born August 1st, living with a brother and grandmother... Need anything else?"
She looked at her, bewildered and angry.
"How do I know?" she asked for her, not even needing to look at her expression. "I told you already... I'm you."
"Cut the crap already!" Ren yelled, her stance becoming more aggressive. "For the last time... you're not me!"
The girl in the stall stared and it seemed as though the golden hue of her eyes flashed for a moment. Slowly, she stepped out of the stall, as though her invisible prison had vanished. With her hands twitching as they clutched her stomach, black mist began to form and accumulate around her. "Figures... you're beyond help."
The cloud of black mist exploded forward; the wave blasted Ren backwards, against the wall and onto the ground. As the mist cleared, where the reflection stood earlier was now a large ox buried waist-deep in the ground, with the reflection herself gored through the stomach and hanging from its horn. The ox bellowed, digging its hooves violently into the frozen ground, and the girl looked at Seiya with dull eyes.
"I am a Shadow... the true self."
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"Miura-san, it's lying!" Or rather, she hoped it was. At this point, Seiya wasn't even sure if Ren was alright.
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In a flash of glorious light, Hlin emerged from the glass, eyes opening wide. She glared at the shadow, hand s outstretched. Quickly aiming at Shadow Ren, Hlin cast Garu, a gust of wind picking up and slamming towards the creature.
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The ox's free horn grew in length and it tossed its head, aiming to slam Seiya with it.
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Trying to crawl closer to her classmate, Seiya reached out for her, "Maybe... maybe you have to just... accept these kind of things..."
Casting garu once more, Hlin tried her best to protected the two as they talked.
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Ren pulled herself to a sitting position, a hand still holding her head. She let everything sink in... the Shadow... her words... the true self? Acceptance...?
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Half of her compact still in tact, Seiya slid it across the space between them, watching it slide to a stop beside Ren.
"Maybe it's.. it's just time." She clutched her side, hoping to stop herself from losing too much blood.
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The Shadow stopped and calmed down as Ren limped towards it. She stopped in front of it, prompting the Shadow to revert into its initial form as black mist exuded from it and disappeared.
"... I admit it. I haven't been honest with myself, or a lot of people, either," she said, looking at her feet. "I lack faith in people. I overestimate myself, and I get convinced that I have to help them with everything, otherwise they won't be able to accomplish anything on their own... so when they prove me wrong, I take it the wrong way." She looked into the compact in her hand. "Then I start feeling like I'm not good enough, so I try to make up for it by making everyone else's problems my own, and then I just... get overwhelmed."
The Shadow stood perfectly still, listening to Ren's words.
She looked up at her Shadow and locked their gazes. "I'm sorry. I need to learn how to help myself first of all, don't I? Well... maybe this is the first step." She raised her free hand and offered it to the Shadow, along with a smile. "You're a part of me. I can recognize that now. What do you say we work together on improving ourself?"
Smiling faintly, the Shadow took Ren's hand and shook it. In a gentle glow of light, she dissolved and transformed into a tall, masked woman with hair made of leaves and holding a long branch, driving a plough. She faded into the form of a card, which then drifted down into Ren's open hand - bearing the symbol of a maiden and a lion.
"Gefjon..." she mumbled, the name echoing in her mind. A... Persona. The word felt right.
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So this is what it looked like to Gregory and Miho back in the elevator. Hlin dissolved into a thin mist, returning to her place in Seiya's psyche. "Miura-san... are you okay?" Attempting to stand, Seiya shook. Yes, a visit to the hospital was definitely needed after all this.
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... Wait. How WERE they supposed to get out?
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"I've never... you did good, okay?"
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"I didn't think those rumors would turn out to be true... and like this, of all things," she rasped, clearing her throat as she turned a corner. Fortunately any other Shadow seemed to have vacated the premises. "I'm still really confused, and we'll have to talk about it later, but..." Later, as in after they were both out and bandaged up. "Is... does anyone else know about this?... It's going to look suspicious when we come out and people find us all beaten up."
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They were almost home free now, thank God.
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"Is this it?" They arrived at what looked like a replica of the girls' bathroom, complete with the large mirror above the sink counter.
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"I'm gonna call an ambulance... how do I even explain this?"
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"... Good point," she said, looking down at the slowly bleeding scrapes in her hands. "I don't think a simple I slipped and fell on something story would cut it."
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"Out behind the school. He had a knife."
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